Week 14 - Senior Fight Club

One day recently, I was late getting to my 7th hour study hall because of an important phone call with my lovely wife, Carrie Underwood-Fahs. I walked in to find all of my students gone except for Bryce Welsh. Poor Bryce was crying in the corner because all of his classmates were gone and he didn't know where they disappeared to. Being the nice teacher I am, I said, "Bryce, quit pouting, get your crossbow and the ring of power, and let's go find them!" So, off we went on an adventure to find the rest of our study hall...even without eating our second lunch! We decided to check the gym first, but when we got there, we discovered the entire P.E. class was gone! However, a floorboard was loose, and it led to a trapdoor. I knew where that trapdoor had to lead. Gandalf was finally calling the Wizard of Fahs to Middle Earth to replace that stupid Saruman. So, we climbed down the ladder to find the one L-W student you'd expect to find in Middle Earth under the school...Evan Johnson. But Evan wasn't in Middle Earth! He was leading a discussion with Jessie, Hunter, Kassidy, Konnar, Julia, and Caylon in a secret classroom. Written on the chalkboard was the message "Secret Star Wars Haters Club," and Evan was in the middle of a passionate argument about how light sabers were so dumb they might as well be marshmallow campfire sticks. I looked around the room, happy to see my study hall students, until I realized Ashli, Sophia, Good Kelsey, and Bad Kelsie weren't there. Finally, I made eye contact with Evan, and he hung his head in shame that I had discovered his secret. He said, "Mr. Fahs, you were right all along about star wars....and the rest of your study hall is through that 2nd trapdoor in the corner." Bryce and I hurried through the 2nd trapdoor, straight into a UFC arena. We soon discovered that it was a Senior Fight Club to decide the current standings in Mr. Fahs' senior rankings. The final missing four students were all there! Sophia and Kelsie were of course in princess thrones above the octagon acting as judges for the club, and most of the senior class were laying around the octagon bloodied and bruised. The only two left standing were Jake Hausmann and Jessica Garber. I asked how they had beaten everyone so badly, and they said it was all due to the wicked juke moves I had taught them...except for with Rylan, it was easier to just beat him at euchre since he's so bad at it. I had never been so proud of any two students, but like any good coach, I had to remind them there was still work to do. Before I left to take my students back to study hall, I said, "Jacob...Jessica...great work, but you better keep training because the freshman are still on pace to beat you by 1,234,567,890 points in the class games."