Our students already look like zombies every morning!

First off, we can all be thankful the zombies took out the Chicagoland area. Maybe starting fresh, more country music, and a few thousand years of clean air will eliminate all that smog. When the zombies do make it to Washburn, there are a few standard steps I will immediately take. First, Hudson will be kicked out of the school right away, as she is obviously already a zombie just scouting our school in advance of zombieland. Second, we keep Miranda hidden inside, as she would obviously be too scared to fight zombies. Third, I begin training the rest of the junior class (the most superior of our high school classes) on zombie warfare. We obviously start with the basic rules: cardio, always check the backseat, double tap, be a hero, etc. Then, we begin training on proper use of my invention, the bow and Darrow, which is the only surefire way to kill a zombie. Well, we train everyone except Trey, as we've all seen his "aim" throwing a baseball. Surviving Zombieland will be EZ.