The Epic Life of Mufahsa

Ok, first off, this blog prompt is irrational because what kind of fool would go to Chicago or any of its suburbs and subject their lungs to all that smog? But, let's say I was kidnapped and had to escape through this old bookstore when I stumbled across my book. I don't know about you youngbloods, but since I can predict the future I would obviously have no problem reading my life story. Wanna know how it goes? Well, first I teach at L-W for the next 100 years and help our sports teams win 133 state championships. Second, I invent the bow and darrow for the U.S. military, where you literally launch people with the last name Darrow at your enemies, and I become filthy rich. Finally, I continue dating, eventually marry, and live happily ever after with Carrie Underwood-Fahs. Doesn't that sound better than that lame life story of the Newbie T-Swizzle just taking naps her whole life?